TO: My Fellow Congressmen
FROM: N. Pelosi
SUBJECT: Jobs for Americans
It has come to my attention that millions of our citizens are out of work. Apparently they’ve also spent all the unemployment checks we kept sending.
This is unacceptable in a country such as ours, with a $14 Trillion dollar annual economy.
How can this happen?
Seriously, how can this happen?
Do you have any idea how big $14 Trillion really is?
If you laid each of those dollars end to end, the line they make would stretch all the way from those with jobs to the U.S. Treasury. At that point, they would enter what can only be described as a taxpayer funded black hole. No one would ever see any of that money, ever again. So even though $14 Trillion sounds like a big number, and by all accounts, is a really big number, it makes no difference. The money just disappears.
What’s the solution?
We need more jobs.
I ask you, what good is raising tax revenue, tax rates, and closing tax-related loopholes if there is no one actually earning a living from a job? Any job.
Even those with a government job have to pay taxes, don’t they?
Sure, it seems like a paradox that though every government job is funded by taxpayers, if we tax those in the private sector more, we can create more government jobs so those jobs can pay taxes, which we can use to create even more government jobs, etc.
You get the picture.
Its like a fusion reactor for jobs and taxes. Once it gets started it never ends, feeds on itself, and never runs out of fuel or food or something like that.
Anyway, today I’m asking for your help. This is a true bipartisan opportunity.
I ask only this one question.
Does anyone here in Congress know how to create a friggin job in the private sector?
PS. (Jobs in China don’t count)
PPS. Don’t forget your secret Santa gifts. It’s only a month away. Shorter if we figure it in congressional days. Remember-it’s against the law to use taxpayer money to buy these gifts. So use cash.